Memoir of an Option Trader
Part 2
Stage 7: A Change in Direction
I figured that with a job and being a part time option trader I would be fine. So initially I decided against bankruptcy and got a "real" job making roughly $800 every paycheck.
I spent the next four years going through budgeting classes, financial seminars, and reading every personal development book I could get my hands on. Tony Robbins, Ken Blanchard, John Maxwell, you name it, I was reading it. Being an option trader forced me to grow in other areas of my life.
I lived in an empty townhouse, slept in my car when I traveled (couldn't afford a hotel), and tried to save money any way I could, even if that meant not eating. Things had gone terribly wrong in my life and at first I blamed it on my rental units.
The more educated I became, and the more books I read, the more I realized that the problem was me. I had no emergency fund, no money management skills, and I had no clue how to run a business. I was clueless; failing my way to success. I had to take personal responsibility.
Stage 8: Yet Another Failure
"But what about option trading? Didn't you get rich trading stock options?" I thought that being an option trader would guarantee me some form of success. After all I was banking 100%+ winners on a consistent basis. I should have made enough money to pay off my debt, but I didn't.
My "get rich quick" mindset had hindered my success. I even failed at option trading. Even though I had changed my mindset over the years, I still had some residual "failure programming" in my brain. Once I realized there was a pattern I took some time off from being an active option trader. All combined it was roughly a two year break.
I hope you didn't miss that point. Being an option trader alone was not enough! Being an option trader does me no good if I have the mindset of a poor person or a gambler. I'll just trade like a poor person or gambler, and will ultimately fail. For some it happens in months, others years. But the road always ends the exact same place, failure.
Stage 9: Breaking Point
After four years of changing my behavior, my mindset, and cutting back on my finances as much as possible I was still over a $100,000 in debt. It was so depressing. I wanted some help on my budget and to see if there was anything else I could do so...
I went back to Consumer Credit Counseling and after reviewing my budget and debt load, their opinion still had not changed. They recommended filing bankruptcy. They finally got it through my thick head that it was possibly going to take another ten years to pay off my debt and this was with devoting over half of my paycheck to my creditors.
As a single guy I was ready for the journey. It took me four long years to get to a point of taking personal responsibility for my situation, and now someone was suggesting I file bankruptcy. I was still hesitant to follow their advice.
But things changed. I met someone that had the potential to be my wife. And once I contemplated getting married this meant not being able to adequately provide for a family. I couldn't even afford to take my girlfriend out much less feed kids. There was no way I was going to make my future wife and future family pay for my stupid mistakes.
I reached my breaking point. I struggled with the decision for months, but I finally took the counselors advice and filed for bankruptcy. Like many, I vowed to eventually pay back the debt. As easy as that sounds I assure you it was not an easy decision to make. I have to live with that decision for the rest of my life.
The Court Hearing
It was hard. I still live with the guilt and shame. I've just learned how to manage it better. The whole ordeal was a very painful learning experience. I used to be one of those people who never understood bankruptcy, or why people filed. Here I was now one of them.
You envision them skipping away from the court house, free from all responsibility. Trust me no one was skipping away that day!
While waiting to be called at the court hearing I kept my head down so no one could see my tears. In my hand I held a crumbled piece of paper. On it read the words spoken by Nelson Mandela in one of his speeches, "The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall". Those words comforted me. They helped me get past the humiliation I felt.
Stage 10: A New Beginning
I was pretty numb at this point. I needed time to heal. I did a great deal of soul searching and asking God for his forgiveness. The pain did push me into a positive direction though. I became wiser, made better decisions, and eventually things got better.
I found a new job, a new home, and a wife who accepted my past failures. Yes the same young lady I mentioned above. It was actually quite ironic. The new job involved teaching Home Ownership and Financial Literacy Classes, and also counseling couples on a one on one basis.
The clients and all the class participants seem to find the stories about my financial mishaps funny. It certainly wasn't funny at the time. But if I had to go through all of the heartache in order to eventually coach people on what not to do, then it was worth it.
Around this time I had also decided to make another attempt at being an option trader. Its amazing how well you trade when you've been humbled by failure, and you give up the idea of "getting rich quick." I even joined an option trading group for extra accountability. It felt good sharing my mistakes as an option trader, especially if it prevented other traders from repeating them.
By watching my clients and other traders learn from my mistakes it made me realize it was time to help the rest of the world. Welcome to www.Learn-Stock-Options-Trading.com...
Final Thoughts
"If I were to say, "God, why me?" about the bad things that happen to me in life, then I should have said, "God, why me?" about all the good things that happened in my life." -Arthur Ashe- (emphasis added)
I struggled with putting this page up. It's not a part of my life that I care to relive. But if you're going to learn how to be an option trader from me, I feel it's important to know as much as you can about me, the good and the bad. It's only fair.
I'm not perfect and I've made some mistakes, so if you're looking for someone that is perfect, and has made all the right decisions, then I am not the one. My scars run deep emotionally and financially. I'm very good at what I do (being an option trader) but the price I had to pay to get here cost me dearly!
I had to re-evaluate what success meant to me. I believe that everyone who wants to succeed has to pay a price. For some they succeed and the price they pay is that they don't have a relationship with their kids. For others it may be a lifetime of loneliness because in all of their success planning they forgot to place dating into their agenda.
Maybe for many the only sacrifice is the sacrifice of time. I can't recall who the quote is from, but it went something like this, "figure out what you want to be in life, pay the price, and then go be it." Always, and I mean always, count the cost!
It's not easy letting the world in on your secrets, but there's also a sense of freedom you experience once you stop hiding behind the appearance of having all your stuff together.
I carry a burden (my failure) that often makes me uncomfortable, but I carry it with dignity!
To Your Success, Travis
www.Learn-Stock-Options-Trading.com
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